Dear States of Utah and Idaho

Dear Utah,

Please don't send me nasty letters because you can't figure out that my car is now insured in Idaho and therefore you believe I have no insurance. I have lived in more than one state and Big Brother didn't operate in any of them - until now. I signed my registration saying I'd provide insurance, and I do. I hope to get my license plates out of your state as soon as possible, believe me. I don't want people to think I actually live there. You suck.


Dear Idaho,

When you put information out on your DMV website, please make sure it's accurate! Don't tell me to simply bring the name and address of the bank I have my Ford financed through and I can license my vehicle - when, in fact, all you're going to do is HAND ME A DAMN FORM I HAVE TO SEND TO THE BANK SO THAT YOU CAN GET YOUR HANDS ON THE TITLE before I can license my car. I love you, but your website sucks. Had I known this, I would have brought the OTHER car, the one I DO have a title to and gotten it taken care of while simply picking up the form for the Ford. Now, I had to come all the way home and need to go all the way back. And I'm really not in the mood for you to waste another hour of my day.

That is all.

Utah Bumper Stickers

Utah drivers are NOTORIOUSLY bad. Worse than the Idaho 2C drivers. Honest.

I stole this list (or some of it) from a hilarious post Sister Mary Lisa did a while back. It summed up, to me, driving in Utah. I remembered it while being passed in a 60 mph zone by a grandpa(!) in a Cadillac with a BYU license plate (and he cut me and lots of other people off). Some of it you won't get unless you have lived or live here, I think, or are/were LDS. But here goes (and yes you should feel sorry for me for having to drive here!):


"Praise to the Man who communed with his road rage"

"Will You Drive This Bad in the Celestial Kingdom?"

"Have I Done Any Good on this road today? "

"No garments? THAT explains why you're driving the speed limit!"

"Forgive me, brothers and sisters, I'm late for a(nother) meeting! "

"I don't cut people off on Sundays, so back off! "

"I am your chance to practice Christlike love and forgiveness. "

'Choose the right...lane, when a choice is placed before you'

'We all must work, let no one shirk, now put your hand on the damned wheel and drive along'

'10% better than yours'

'Babies on board'

"Zoom Zoom Ye Saints."

"My Other Car is a handcart, but THIS one hauls ass!"

"I wouldn't have to drive like this if I were allowed to have a Starbucks."

"Go ahead! My real driving history is locked in a vault, and I won't let anyone see it!"

"CTR--Especially If You're Going Only 5 Over the Speed Limit"

"My SUV's Better Than Your Hybrid"

"If You Can See This Bumper Sticker Which Reads Women Should Have The Priesthood Then you're Too Damn Close! "

"Mountain Meadows Maniac!"

"Get off my ass, or I will go TELESTIAL on you!!"

"I dunk dead people"

"My driving is sophmoric, I mean bisophric"?

I've done my good today, now move along!

"You want to hie to Kolob?! I'll hie you to Kolob!"

“Stick to your bicycle, it’s safer for me.”

"Now I know what UTARD means."