Talk Thursday - Devastated

When Krista sent out this topic, it finally spurred me to do something I hadn't for months (obviously) - blog.

What happened? A lot in the last seven months. Frankly, most of it hasn't been good. Bear with me a moment, for those of you who don't know the whole story. There is a moral to it.

Shortly after my last post, I managed to fall on my elbow walking Mario on icy sidewalks (as opposed to my ass, which would have been better) and shatter it. Surgery followed and I can safely say that it hurt worse than being in labor. So there was that. No skiing in the winter. Boo.

January went without much event, just healing up from the surgery but February started off with a bang. Right before Big Bit's birthday, my Dad was diagnosed with terminal leukemia, a month from turning 65. Those of you that have read the blog know that Dad had his battles with cancer, those being smoking related, but this apparently was not. So much for me and my bitching about his smoking.

Strike one.

A week to the day after this became news, Big Bit called me hysterical. He was at his Dad's and had gotten on to Facebook, only to see that TH's niece had posted she had to go home because her brother had committed suicide. Yep. Our nephew. Brad's sister's kid. I was even more shocked because we knew nothing. I got through to TH while he was teaching a class. The fact I did that warned him it was bad. Indeed, he reached his sister as I reached our niece and the worst had happened the night before. They'd had no time to reach us due to logistical issues. We assured them finding out the way we did wasn't anyone's fault. It damn sure was a shock though. I think I'm even more glad I quit Facebook.

Strike two.

So, we're going to a funeral for a 17 year old, two weeks short of his 18th birthday. A beautiful boy, who'd gone through his struggles but seemed to be on a good path. We'd seen him at Christmas and he'd been delightful. Played with Little Bit, chatted, was much more the boy I remembered than he'd been for years. Perhaps this was a sign. We didn't know. I've been to enough teen aged boys' funerals in my life. I didn't need to go to another one. Big Bit was distraught; he and his cousin were a year apart in age and quite good friends when little.

So that passed. The only humorous part of the week was when Big Bit and I were texting each other after the funeral about the obnoxious stepmonster in law - who was in full form.

Another Friday went by with no bad news. Whew.

And then.

My mother called with the news that my cousin's 19 year old, again a great pal of Big Bit's when younger, had killed himself. At this point, kids, I was numb, I was reeling. I was beyond belief that our lives could suck as progressively much as they were getting to, as well as being devastated for my cousin and her husband, great parents, as I had been for my sister-in-law and her husband, who are REALLY good people.

Big Bit was more stoic at this funeral, but for the second time in a month he got to see his boyhood plastered on a wall in the form of a slide show. Was it good that he was in their lives enough to make the final show? Sure. But I'm also sure it was very hard for him.

Strike three.

Oh, and just for good measure, Little Bit was diagnosed with Aspergers in February. Not totally unexpected, but another thing to manage.

We ached through March, we suffered through April, and lagged into May. The weather didn't help. Boise decided to have its wettest, cloudiest spring in recent history. The sun? It wasn't coming out. At all. Ever, apparently. Little Bit struggled at school, and Big Bit did too.

Mid-may came, and Big Bit was finishing up his last semester. We were starting to get some equilibrium, I thought. We'd been to see Dad frequently, and I'd talked to him on the phone, but one could tell he was getting progressively more sad and more weak. TH and I went to see him, and when I got there he was so bad that he basically needed to sleep all the time so that he wouldn't hurt. If he woke up, he was in pain. I saw him for probably two minutes that weekend. I was a chicken. I couldn't face it. I am pretty ashamed of myself for that. Thank God for my stepmother. If God didn't send her into Dad's life, I don't know who did, because apparently I wasn't going to be able to take care of him. The last time I saw him, he was asleep, finally peacefully, and I didn't want to wake him up. I still wonder if that was the right decision.

We went home, as it didn't seem he was at "that" stage. In the middle of the night my phone rang. I HATE middle of the night phone calls. Nothing good comes of these calls, ever. They're either death or drunk dialing and there's nothing positive about either. Yeah, big shocker, Dad was gone. I was glad in a way, because he really was done with all of this at the end and I certainly couldn't blame him. But it was sad and horrible that all he wanted was to get outside, maybe go fishing or at least drive in the hills and the fricking weather wouldn't permit it. I will never understand that.

So...more numbness. Getting one foot in front of the other, much less getting up, has been hard. Big Bit went to his Dad's shortly after the funeral and apparently has decided to unleash his very unattractive passive aggressive side for no reason on us. It's been a month since I've talked to him, other than one rather unpleasant test exchange. Gosh, 19 year olds are fun.

So...color me devastated.

But here's where it gets better.

I am glad the Packers won the Super Bowl. In the grand scheme of things, yes, this seems unimportant. But my Dad watched it. And was as excited as I was. We talked afterwards and it was so nice to share something happy right after the bad news. I also was able to get him a signed SB XVI hat by Korey Hall, the Packers player from Glenns Ferry, ID. Dad and I had a personal point of pride about Jerry Kramer. It was there for Korey as well.

I am glad that our nephew was as interactive as he was and allowed us to enjoy his company over the last months of his life; he played with his much younger cousin, showed his sweet side, and I wouldn't trade that, even with how things ended. He hadn't been that way for a long time. It was nice to see that sweet little 1 year old I met so long ago within him again.

I am glad that Big Bit was important enough not only in our nephew's life but in my cousin's son's life that he featured in these slide shows. It's been a long hard slog to make sure that he was plugged into the family. I think he still doesn't always feel like he is, but that's a universal problem. We all wonder where we belong sometimes, I think.

I am glad my Dad and Mom had me so young, as much as I'm sure that complicated their lives at the time. I wouldn't have had 44 years with my Dad, even with the ups and downs, if he hadn't been 20 when I was born.

I am glad that I finally had the light go on in my head regarding my relationship with Big Bit. The last 17 years have been rewarding, but tough. I love him. I have busted my ass and bought my attorney a Corvette trying to get him with me. I have spent thousands of dollars in plane tickets to ensure I saw him frequently. I spent thousands of dollars in child support as was my obligation, and I didn't begrudge that. I saved a full year of child support that I got and managed to come up with 1/2 the amount his Dad gave him for college. Who didn't need the money. But I digress. My point is that I have done everything, everything that I could have done. People have things they regret and probably would re-do if they could. But given how things came, I've done the best I can. I hope he knows how much I love him, and I hope he decides to be more respectful. But I can control how I react to the disrespect.

I feel strong, stronger than I have for some time. I have a wonderful husband I met 17 years ago yesterday. I have a wonderful son who I love, even when he's exasperating the hell out of my by not going to sleep as he is tonight; who will figure out how to deal with Aspergers; and I have a son with a lovely soul who I think will remember who he really is and how much I love him. I have my Mom, my family and my friends. I have people in my life who sent a beautiful flower arrangement to my Dad's funeral even though I won't meet any of them until October when I go to Green Bay - my blog family at PocketDoppler.com. Jerry Kramer has read a blog post of mine and liked it. Jerry Kramer!!!

This litany has sounded extremely depressing, I'm sure. Don't send the police, or the psychiatrist. This is a way of me letting all of this out, and apologizing to those of you to whom I seemed to fall of the face of the earth. I care about you guys. I just was trying to get through the day. That's getting better.

I am lucky. I am alive.

Even though I am devastated.

The Bears Still Suck

Well, I didn't get the job, so I'm going to hang on until after the first of the year as certain good things will come my way if I do. Keep your fingers crossed that something happens after that. I know, I know, and I do believe things happen for a reason but sometimes it's really hard to see what that reason is.

In other related bad news, Monday Night Football sucked. (I know, Steven, you enjoyed it hugely.)

I don't care if the Bears won, they played the absolute worst game for the most part that I've seen and still managed to win - because the Packers beat themselves. McCarthy should be shot for making bad challenges - I think he went to the Childress School for the Criminally Insane NFL Head Coaches.

On the other hand, Aaron Rodgers played a beautiful game. Kid, you're growing up. *Sniff*

I remember how dismayed I was when Brent left and how I worried about Aaron's durability. I wasn't alone, I know, but I feel guilty now in the face of his grace, good humor and ability to suffer way too many sacks last year. He retweeted me this summer (this, folks, is a big deal) and I printed it out to frame and put in my pool room. Brent wouldn't know how to type, much less how to treat fans nicely on Twitter.

Anyhow, since I can't rub it in cousin Steve's face about the loss by playing one of my favorite tunes ( I LOVE a good polka), I'd like to play this particular tune for Brian Urlacher and Jay Cutler. Dudes, no one made you King of Anything.

And the Packers aren't drowning. That is all.

Right after 9/11, TH and I were fortunate enough to go to Sun Valley, thanks to Jenny the old boss and her free tix to see James Taylor. The world at that time seemed quite upset and wrong, as everyone knows. He made us feel so, so much calmer and optimistic. This video is earlier, but quite representative of the reaction he got in Idaho. His daughter, Sally, played with him. I remember him saying, "It's so important we keep on going, though right now it's so hard." Those words have resonated with me, over and over, to this day.

James, I need you to come play a concert in my backyard. Just sayin'. Please?

One of the best times in my life, that concert was, even in the face of such tragedy in our country. Always remember.

'Nuff Said

Note: I had a Paul Thorn video posted here because I was feeling sorry for myself. It's a song called "I Have a Good Day Every Now and Then". I went back to make a note to say I was okay, just having an incredibly horrible day. Somehow I deleted the video. Sigh.

I plan on blogging this weekend about the last month, which really has had lots of high points. Now if I only knew how to deal with the mundane.

Lost in Idaho

Yes, you used to call me lostinutah, but these days I seem to be lostinidaho. Not in the same sense, but I know I've been remiss in trying to write anything whatsoever or comment on others blogs. Though I see some other people are having the same problem. :)

What has been going on? I don't know that it's anything specific...a tad bit of laziness, no doubt, but also just life being life and me ending up watching David Letterman, seeing the Top 10 list and realizing I'm going to be just as tired in the morning as I was the morning of the current day.

The job has been...the job. I've had a couple of nasty surprises in the last week that don't threaten my employment but do seem to confirm that it will lack the thing I like about my field - creativity. Not that I've been allowed to have much anyway, but what I did have is slowly being eliminated by our Corporate structure. (Not at me, mind you, just generally.) I have applied internally for a job that I think I would love, that is a stretch opportunity but one I had some exposure to in Utah. The person I would work for I think I would truly love to be around - she and I have bonded over our children are both going to that fine institution next year I've mentioned previously. We'll see - the recruiter for the job (same guy that was my recruiter for this job) seems to think I'll get an interview at least but the wheels of justice turn slowly.

Memorial Day weekend was a blur. We went to friend Renee's party (lots of fun) but first...we acquired a new family member.

This is Mario, our new evil pet. (Those of you who parent or grandparent Ninentdo addicts will get the name.) He is a 2 year old Beagle, who was a stray at the shelter and we nabbed him. We were going to wait until we got back from our trip to Washington D.C. to celebrate Big Bit's graduation but Beagles don't come through the shelter very often so we nabbed him. Friend Ra will watch him while we're in Reno and a little bit of the D.C. time when Mom is on a Harley ride to Elko.

We also went (late) to my uncles(s) and aunt(s) anniversary party. A supposedly brief lunch at Flatbread Pizza went sadly awry. In addition, I hate really paper-thin crust pizza. Shan't be back. Sorry to the family for showing up for the last 1/2 hour but I did enjoy seeing everyone. Then, we got to go see the new house my dad is having built. It's small, but cute, and when he retires and can't live in his company-provided housing anymore he will have a nice place to live. Sorry, no pics, but once it's done I'll nail some down.

Now - getting ready for graduation (I AM OLD) and our trip to DC. Big Bit has been another distraction (though always welcome) - he was having extreme bouts of senioritis and resenting authority (granted, the authority he was resenting I couldn't live with, so totally understood). To his credit, he got through it all and is great, but I appreciated the fact he wanted to talk to me about it all. I don't take that for granted by any means. Sometimes you see parents and their children grow apart and you wonder - how does that happen? I'm not sure. I don't want to experience it with my kids, so I plan on working hard at appreciating their worlds, even when I don't agree with them.

Back on a Sunday, Big Bit's college orientation on a Monday and then - off to D.C.! We were fortunate enough to score White House tour tickets through Senator Crapo - now if I just see an Obama I'll have a big grin on my face. I know. As if. And I know he's not perfect, okay? Thank you. Looking forward to seeing all the wonderful, inspiring sights that I've seen briefly on work visits to the D.C. area and much more that I've never been exposed to.

I also hope to meet up with Holly and Kris, a couple of ladies met through the blogosphere - we'll see how things shake out but it might be a lot of fun.

So, while I've been totally offline, I haven't been inactive. Hope all is well with everyone's world as well.

Talk Thursday: Endings...and Beginnings

Yep, I set the topic again, so I feel obligated to write. I have written on other's topics (maybe twice, to my shame) so I don't feel like I'm totally favoring myself. :)

Usually, endings are sad. The last few years I've had some that are happy, and some that are sad.

Happy Endings:

Leaving Utah

Child Support

Sad Endings:

My grandmother's passing

My doggie's passing

Beginnings are always more optimistic - there's so much room for opportunity to hope and dream about how things will turn out. The beginning we've experienced over the past few years are well documented on this blog.

When you get into your 40's, it's a little harder to find beginnings, frankly, at least for me. My kid's lives are really still beginning and that's fascinating, but it's their lives, not mine. I might start another new job in the next few years - but more and more, as friend Shawn says, the time I (and he) spent at the Mothership working for Jenny looks like an aberration in one's career, not a constant. Everything else has been a job. I've been with TH for almost 16 years and all signs point to it's going to last (thankfully!). I'm not moving ever again, I've decided, so that's out. Let's face it, I am truly the picture of your middle aged Mom.

But....

One thing that has happened is, in a way, a beginning for me. Big Bit has chosen a college. He is going to go to the College of Idaho, the fine institution I wrote about previously and which I attended for all of one semester. Because of the cost (private school = $$$) and because like me as a college freshman he doesn't feel like he would live well in a dorm, he's going to live with us. It's about a 25 mile drive one way, but trust me, the gas in his car (Honda Civic) in no way compares with the cost of living on campus, and he needs to stretch his dollars to last as long as possible.


Since he started school, we've had Big Bit with us a lot - during year round school, probably 4 months total or more of the year, summers during middle schools, weekends frequently etc. (Of course, prior to that I had him full or half time at least). He spent his freshman year in Utah with us, which was wonderful, but it ended badly (not because of anything he or I did, but a third force if you know who I mean) and he went back. He was worried for me and him if he stayed with me.

Now, he's an adult, or as Little Bit put it "He can do whatever he wants, can't he Mom?"

So, in an odd way, Big Bit's graduation, which is an ending, is a beginning for both him, and me. I don't look at him coming to school here as "I win" or anything like it. He picked a school he wants to go to, and we happen to live near it. It saves him money to live here, so he will have less student loan debt at the end.

But still, it's going to be fun to see college through his perspective. I hope he handles it all far, far better than I did. I think, in spite of his shyness that I fully share (and more) that he will be able to enjoy school and not do something stupid like get married (too soon).

Now to go see about selling a kidney to pay for school, as well as the new roof that we weren't supposed to need for 3 more years (augh). That is all.

Well, Maybe Not

Well, the Pack is Back may have been premature (but I really wasn't gloating just happy). All I have to say is on 11/1 if the Vikings don't go down the ghost of Vince Lombardi and Curly Lambeau will rise up and crush Mike McCarthy and Ted Thompson.

Go Pack.

In other "news", we're just plugging along. Little Bit is doing exceedingly well in school, even if I do say so myself, we're planning our trip to Disneyland for Big Bit's college research at Concordia Irvine (also known as I GET TO GO TO DISNEYLAND FOR MY BIRTHDAY! WOOT!) and work is work for TH and I. We feel a little lost not being part of the Mothership because there was such a sense of purpose in our work; now we just have jobs. That's harder to adjust to than we thought. Our indoctrination was thorough and complete, obviously.

And, yes, Cele, I will get my 99 things post done by October 30. I promised. I keep my promises (Pastor Grumm's comments at the time of my divorce notwithstanding).

It's 3 a.m., I must be lonely

Well, 3:44, to be precise, but I had to steal a line from Matchbox Twenty.

If I'm lonely, it's because people aren't supposed to be up at 3 a.m. coughing their lungs out and wishing that Claritin D suddenly came in a new SUPERSIZE edition.

This allergy season has been hell on wheels. I'm afflicted with allergies, but usually with the exception of a week or so in the spring and fall, I'm not overcome. I am this time. I am wondering what is planted in our beautiful yard that I am deathly allergic to. Perhaps God is playing some sort of sick joke on me ("You love this house, but it doesn't love YOU"). Just kidding, but this is really whack, as Whitney Houston would say about crack.

The lack of posting in the last week was due to a) getting ready for the trip and b) being on the trip. I have some pics of Lake Tahoe and my obsession, I just have to quit coughing long enough to download them. And try to be awake enough to go to work tomorrow...I mean today.

All is well, Big Bit looks wonderful and well, of course Rick Springfield did too. Now, if only Heather would see him in the airport again to complete my happy weekend. However, since she's either about to give birth or already has, I'm sure this time Rick was on his own. Especially since he wasn't within 400 miles of Salt Lake City. Neither was I. Bliss.

Isn't it Friday Yet?

Here's the sad thing. I had my day off Monday, ended up having a killer allergy attack Tuesday so I was home sick and this is my second day at work this week, yet it seems like the longest. week. ever.

I don't know why - other than the allergies everything's gone well, Scouts is finally over for the summer and there's no homework until the end of school so Little Bit is easily handled but it's just been long.

I think I'm ready for vacation and that isn't for another month.

I guess I'll have to settle for next weekend's festivities. Big Bit is going on vacation with EHFH for two weeks the moment school is out, so we're going to see him in Reno; that way, Mom doesn't have to go more than three weeks without seeing her firstborn (well, I think he misses me too).

During the weekend, Big Bit, TH and I are going to see my obsession. You remember him, don't you?



That's what I thought. Of course you do. He's still better than Aaron Carter.

Happy Memorial Day.

It's a Good Monday

It is a good Monday. I don't have to work. I should be doing something productive or fun. But I have a total lack of motivation.

I don't know if it's because I got a lot done over the weekend (which I did) or the fact that it's 30 degrees and cold as heck out, but I just want to sit with a book in a chair, read and do nothing.

That isn't an option, Little Bit is on Spring Break and so it would be rather mean to make him do nothing all day but watch TV or play XBox. Not that he would object, of course, but that really isn't what he should be doing.

Well, off to figure out something to do after lunch - I'll ignore that stack of library books that keeps calling my name from the comfy loveseat downstairs.

Who's Got the #28 Album In The Nation?

That guy whose body (not butt) I touched this spring.

Just sayin'. 59 is the new 40.

Just Because The World Needs a New Good Song

I know I have a few obsessions. However, though I've always liked Rick Springfield, it wasn't until I saw him last winter that he moved to that category.

Seriously, I've been in recovery on that subject. :) This week, however, I did stumble across this on YouTube. This is worthy of 80's fangirl screaming. Good song. Check it out.

P.S. He's 59 next week. Holy Cow!

A Tale of Two Bits

Last week was a hectic week at work, followed by a hectic weekend. Big Bit got in Saturday from his dad's (he lived with us in Utah for 9th grade, but then (very long story) went back to Reno for 10th. He's trying to decide what to do for this next year - trying hard not to influence or stress him out on this, but still can't help anxiously awaiting his decision.

He is a straight A, straight arrow, good kid who despite the tension throughout the last 15 years of his childhood between his dad and I has turned out well. Mostly, I suspect, because we were able to avoid ranting about each other within his earshot (I would just scream in the bathroom after we got off the phone with my attorney about some atrocity) and co-parent. I have to say, that I am extremely relieved to be through most of the 18 years of putting up with the EHFH's crap. Big Bit's torn about how to make us both happy, as are the children of most divorced parents, instead of realizing by making himself happy he will (should) make us happy. As much as I tell him that's what I want for him I sense he's still looking out for me, somehow. Even if he wants to stay with his friends in Reno and that means not coming back, he's afraid he'll hurt me. And vice versa.

That feels familiar to me from my own life experience. I have a friend whose parents, like mine, divorced when we were adults and though it was the best thing for them and I intellectually get that, you still have these weird things you have to deal with. Like having THREE places to go at Christmas once you get married. Indeed, four if your spouse has divorced parents (mine does not). I hate to tell Big Bit these issues never totally pass, even if your parents get along, as mine do now.

I guess I'll let him live in his delusional state for now that when high school ends so does any of these issues. The one I thing I can sincerely assure him of is that he has no idea how bad things would be if his father and I had stayed married. I shudder to think.

I think pondering his future makes him tired. Or it might be his brother who has been on him like a terrier on a rabbit ever since he got here (Little Bit LOVES Big Bit, to distraction. Vice versa but you can't admit that when you're 16). Hard to say. But he's been pretty sleepy. At any rate, my pictures of his various napfests since arriving turned out a bit blurry, but I'll show him off anyway:




Little Bit started back to school Monday, he has the last three weeks with the perhaps world's worst 3rd grade teacher for any kid with ADHD (and this is not just my opinion, trust me). He was excited to see his friends, the Principal and the Counselor. Do you think he spends too much time in the office? Haha.

He is a smart, articulate, tempermental bundle of energy. He's very loving and loyal, and has good antannae for those who really care about him and those who are just putting in time with him. He does not suffer fools lightly, but will not hesitate to tell you he loves you and how wonderful you are if he knows the feeling goes both ways.


We've run into one of those non-fun things about living in a community that can happen when one is a minority the last few weeks. At Scouts two weeks ago, Little Bit told me he didn't want to go. I asked why - the answer "the kids call me names". Heart officially breaks. When I asked him why he just gave me The Look. As if I should know. I didn't press him.

Then last week we went on a field trip with the den. I offered to drive some of the kids, and the offer was happily accepted. We have found, that for all of the families forever stuff, The Husband and I are the only parents that consistently show up at Scouts with our child and participate with him. I have a close friend in Seattle whose son is a year behind Little Bit in Cubs and she says it's always very much 1:1 (parent to child) at their den meetings. Not so much here. Little Bit's had three different Scoutmasters in a year and it's been that way every time. This may, or may not, be just the Law of the Pack at the ward we go to for meetings.

As we got ready to leave on the field trip, ALL of the other Scouts piled into the Scoutmasters' Suburban. And there weren't enough seats for all of them. And I swear that if I hadn't kind of coughed they would have driven off that way. Upon hearing my coughing, the husband of the team urged one of the boys into our rig. It was a pretty uncomfortable trip.

At the end of the trip, another parent had shown up to participate in the activity, so it was "thank you very much but we have enough seats to get everyone home". Mr. Scoutmaster, who seems more open to us, really made an effort to be friendly (and apologetic?) - Mrs. Scoutmaster, who seems to think I have five heads most of the time, really didn't look at me much.

I try to encourage my children to embrace everyone. I have my areas of discomfort, I admit, but I'm working on them and I won't show those to my kids if I can help it.

How can you not want to sit in a car with this child? I know I'm prejudiced towards him, mind you.

This all brings back memories of being in 6th grade in a very small town in Southern Idaho (100 plus) where I was the minority for the same reason and after moving to said small town mid-year suffered through a few months so friendless I ran back to my old school for junior high, even though it meant I had to live with my maternal grandmother during the week and I really missed my parents - because there at least I wasn't a pariah. So I know I'm sensitive. But this was pretty obvious.

This goes both ways, mind you. I'm not claiming that those not of the faith whoever they may be are pure in this respect, including me and I try to work on that.

My problem is I fear it may just get worse. And those of you who have someone (a child, a spouse, whatever, but a child is the most deep feeling in my experience) get disparaged you know the "mama" or "papa bear" syndrome that kicks in when this happens.

I also know we have our neighbors who are of the faith, who invited us over at 9 pm Sunday night for brownies and brought us homemade jam (on Sunday during the day no less!) and encourage Big Bit's friendship with their daughter - could care less what religion we do or don't practice. There's also the nice lady who just moved out this way who I gave a ride to church this weekend.

Having lived here all her life, she says from her perspective things are SO much better than they used to be for us not-Mo's.

I just wonder and worry if I'm doing right by both my boys on all fronts, like anyone can live up to being the perfect parent. I guess my job is to worry, but maybe I need to not worry so much and try to ignore the ignorance, if we encounter it. Maybe by just being here in our semi-small town and being the minority we're doing some good? We know the good is here, how do we embrace it? How do we confront the bad, when touched by it?

Maybe I'm way too sensitive? Maybe the writing really is on the wall and those who would say "if you don't like it, move" are right?

I'm open for comments or criticisms. From everyone. I mean it. I think I need some perspective. From all kinds of points of view.

It's going to be a long week

Needed a bit of humor here - I have an extremely uncomfortable conversation coming up at work tomorrow (or it may be today as it's approaching midnight) and I feel like I am Young Skywalker except I'm not going to be talking to anyone remotely resembling my father, much less someone who seems gives a damn about me. Yes, Sybil and I are having "the talk". So I went and found this...really we did have a great weekend, it's finally over 70 here, at least for a few days! We are getting ready to see Big Bit next weekend and the ever-famous Gin Blossoms in Reno, which should be fun. Keep your fingers crossed I'm still employed, or at least I hit the lottery last night and just don't know it yet.

Oh, and that I am half as tough as my really awesome grandmother, 90 years old, broken leg, surgery and all and still hanging tough. I have lots to live up to.

Yikes.


see more crazy cat pics

It's Always Something

Funnily enough, this post came on dooce.com yesterday (trust me, it has a link to my weekend activities):

http://www.dooce.com/2008/04/07/woman

Heather (who I don't know though I wish I could) is my "Daily Chuck" link. She is mucho irreverent but funny and very smart. She is the person who graduated from BYU I wish I could have met but haven't. Well, besides Jim McMahon. (see Steve, there's a BEAR HUG!)

As a last link to my 80's weekend, here's the first song that Mr. S. opened with at the concert. Though a fan, this is the first time I heard this tune which came out in 1999 or so. I loved it upon listen.

It really is always something...so I relate.