Thursday, March 20, 2008

Utah Bumper Stickers

Utah drivers are NOTORIOUSLY bad. Worse than the Idaho 2C drivers. Honest.

I stole this list (or some of it) from a hilarious post Sister Mary Lisa did a while back. It summed up, to me, driving in Utah. I remembered it while being passed in a 60 mph zone by a grandpa(!) in a Cadillac with a BYU license plate (and he cut me and lots of other people off). Some of it you won't get unless you have lived or live here, I think, or are/were LDS. But here goes (and yes you should feel sorry for me for having to drive here!):


"Praise to the Man who communed with his road rage"

"Will You Drive This Bad in the Celestial Kingdom?"

"Have I Done Any Good on this road today? "

"No garments? THAT explains why you're driving the speed limit!"

"Forgive me, brothers and sisters, I'm late for a(nother) meeting! "

"I don't cut people off on Sundays, so back off! "

"I am your chance to practice Christlike love and forgiveness. "

'Choose the right...lane, when a choice is placed before you'

'We all must work, let no one shirk, now put your hand on the damned wheel and drive along'

'10% better than yours'

'Babies on board'

"Zoom Zoom Ye Saints."

"My Other Car is a handcart, but THIS one hauls ass!"

"I wouldn't have to drive like this if I were allowed to have a Starbucks."

"Go ahead! My real driving history is locked in a vault, and I won't let anyone see it!"

"CTR--Especially If You're Going Only 5 Over the Speed Limit"

"My SUV's Better Than Your Hybrid"

"If You Can See This Bumper Sticker Which Reads Women Should Have The Priesthood Then you're Too Damn Close! "

"Mountain Meadows Maniac!"

"Get off my ass, or I will go TELESTIAL on you!!"

"I dunk dead people"

"My driving is sophmoric, I mean bisophric"?

I've done my good today, now move along!

"You want to hie to Kolob?! I'll hie you to Kolob!"

“Stick to your bicycle, it’s safer for me.”

"Now I know what UTARD means."

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

OMG, those are hilarious!! I'm having trouble breathing from laughing so hard. :D

-Steve