Progress?

Here I am, actually blogging. Shocking, eh? I know! (Craig Ferguson voice.)

Blogosophere, don't feel neglected - it's bad enough that my lovely stepmother called me to see if I was alive. Yes, she agrees my father could call me. He doesn't. Unless it's my birthday. I don't take it personally anymore but when things get going enough that life is especially crazy, I don't think of calling him until 8:30 p.m. and then he's asleep. I reassured her I'm still alive and think about them lots. We'll probably try and run down over Thanksgiving weekend. Turkey Day itself will be quietly at home. TH has to have hernia surgery two days before so he will be moving gingerly I am sure.

(Hernia surgery? Seriously? Old people have hernias. Oh, he's 47 you say? Oh my heck.)

Big Bit is doing well at College of Idaho. He's taking midterms this week, has made a few friends and is ready for his fall break next week, in which he will take Reno on for several days. His Dad is doing well, the cancer seems to have been a scare and not a glaring reality, for which I am deeply thankful.

Little Bit is cruising through 6th grade fairly well, as has been the case each year there are less issues with the transition. I'm a little concerned about the transition to junior high. No, let me be honest. I'm terrified. He's so intelligent but emotionally a little immature - and holding him back academically would be a disaster. His counselor that he's been seeing for a while now suggested a charter school here in Boise that has a junior high. We're seriously considering it. It's not far from TH's work so that wouldn't be especially problematic but it has a lottery so who knows if he'd actually get in anyway. There's also a private school that might be an option. (ouch.)

Not getting the potential job seems to have been a blessing in disguise, but the current one is driving me starkers as they say in the UK. Still, it is better than unemployment, so I will strive to persevere.

The Packers beat the Vikings. You may not have heard. This of course was huge. I'm still grinning. Now if Nevada beats BSU my football experience for this year may hit it's zenith. Those Oregon Ducks are the team I'm rooting for otherwise. ;)

My birthday is Saturday and unfortunately I didn't win the Packers trip to see the Jets game and the new Broadway play Lombardi this weekend. Sigh. Nor can I go to the Rally for Sanity, as much fun as that would be. Little Bit wants to go to Boo at the Zoo Saturday so that should be fun. He's going to be Harry Potter. I promise to post pictures of that.

I promise to be a little more active here. Now that it's dark, I'm not tempted to spend all of my time outside.

How To Win Friends and Influence Bear Fans

Here's a draft of my first blog post for PocketDoppler.com which I hope will publish tomorrow.


Many thanks to Wally for asking me to participate in these shenanigans. Hopefully you'll find the view of a (somewhat) Violent Femme worthwhile reading.

As a bit of an introduction, I've been a Packer fan for most of my life, thanks to my Dad - a huge fan of the Lombardi-era Packers, especially Jerry Kramer (as most of my family has attended University of Idaho). The story I like to tell is that I was sitting on his lap at a few months old watching Super Bowl I. If not, I must have been in the next room listening to him cheer, because I imprinted. I read his well-thumbed copy of Instant Replay when I was about 7 or 8 and it was all over with. I was hooked.

Over the past 20 years, my interest has become more intense. Now, thanks to the power of blogs such as CheeseheadTV and Twitter, I've come to feel a part of a community of fans. I think those of us who don't live anywhere near Wisconsin find this connection maybe more important than your local Packer fan realizes, because we don't often run into someone on the street who has a similar passion for our team. In fact, around here, you're more likely to meet a Denver Bronco or San Francisco 49er fan. Shudder.

I've seen a fair amount of bickering on the Packer fan blogs, sometimes to the point of name calling after a big loss, or especially during the whole Favregate fiasco. In general, however, except for the occasional presence of a troll, people at least repect the main premise of why we're all there - we love and support the Green Bay Packers, come what may.

I realized during the Super Bowl vs. Denver that I had a little problem with confrontation. We were at a friend's house for a Super Bowl party who really didn't know anything about football, which is fine, but who made the mistake (to me) of inviting a rabid Broncos fan, male, who found out I loved the Packers and went after me with the intensity of a diamond tipped drill bit. Once he knew he was bothering me, he wouldn't shut up. Usually I'm pretty quick with a quip or pointed comment, but I just sat there, and after that last, awful play got up quietly, walked out the door and went home. And cried, I must confess. (Of course, that wasn't the last time Favre made me cry.)

Last week I was reminded as to my utter inability to trash talk. A new tweep, from my town, found out my loyalties were (I can't believe he could figure it out....) and revealed himself as a Bears fan. Not just a Bears fan, but a trash talking, Packer hating, McMahon worshiping Bears fan. In an awful case of deja vu, with laser like focus he set about annoying me. I tried to play it off for a while, I tried to respond and be funny but it got worse and finally I had just had enough. So I did what any girl should(n't) do, I ran to my band of Packer fan brothers in the Twitter world and one of them was kind enough to take said Bear fanboy on.

During the Bear game on Sunday the insults flew thick and fast between them while I watched from the Twitter sidelines. If I was a betting woman (and I am) I would have bet that one, or both, was totally beside himself with rage. Then, suddenly, all was totally laid back and smiley faces. Peace and joy reigned. Each had worn himself out, I guess, and felt better, perhaps taking comfort in the united knowledge that the Vikings, too, suck.

The more I thought about it, the more I realized that I somehow, someway, take all of it too seriously to trash talk well. That seems odd to me, because I've seen men who I know bleed green and gold even more than I do (and therefore one would assume might care more) engage in exchanges that would make a truck driver blush. I have a cousin I'm very close to who is a Bears fan, but our "discussion" of the rivalry comes down to a twice a year my posting on my personal blog "The Bears Still Suck" video and his verbal flailing once they (usually) lose. No harm, no foul, no name calling. That's the extent of my trash talking experience.

Is this a female trait, or am I merely an example of a timid Packer fan that just needs to get some thicker skin and jump in the fray with the trash talkers? I don't know. I consulted with Jayme Joers from BrentFavre.com and she said she thought maybe we female sports fans are a little more emotional about our support. Understandable? Maybe, but when you don't know how to respond to someone it's just annoying. I'd love to have a better reaction than stony silence.

Two things I know for sure is The Bears Still Suck, and I still suck at trash talk.

Talk Thursday - Progressions

Life is weird sometimes. Well, if you're me, it's weird all the time, but that's another story for another Talk Thursday.

One of the reasons I didn't write over the summer is I was just working through stuff. I keep thinking "You're in your 40's, you're supposed to have this all figured out." But I don't, and I keep working at it. I've been frustrated because I don't have a job I love. I love where I live, and when we moved back I remember telling TH "I can hate my job or I can hate where I live, but I can't hate both, I'll never make it." In some ways this is true. I couldn't. But I find disliking one or the other very disheartening. Don Quixote, quit tilting at windmills.

I've been trying to find paths in which I can feel fulfilled in different ways at my output, even if it's not output I get paid for. That's a bit challenging given that I do have a job, a family and I'm trying to get a professional certification that's good for the resume if not much else.

Today a few weird things happened. Two of them positive, one not in a way but a way that made me thoughtful. Today was truly a progression for me, and that's not an experience I've had in a while.

First, when I got to work, I had a message from @wallypingel on Twitter asking me if I'd be interested in providing a female sports/Packers perspective to his blog, PocketDoppler.com. I "met" Wally through CheeseheadTV and he has some people he collaborates on this site, which definitely has content of interest to me. I thought for a couple of hours - I love to write, I've been told I'm good at it professionally but for entertainment? Whew. But, I was thinking yesterday that I would love to do something like be a professional sportswriter, or a blogger that became financially solvent for it. Aaron Nagler from CheeseheadTv was featured in the New York Times yesterday along with his partner in crime Corey Behnke. They don't do this for a living. YET. But I think they might pull it off. I don't think I ever would but I thought - what the hell? So I'm going to have a weekly post for Wally unless he thinks I suck at writing. In which case you will never hear another mention of this again.

Second - had a great lunch with the colleague who's daughter is attending school with Big Bit and we found out that we had much in common - we both love Craig Ferguson, we both have surreptitious piles of "important" papers on various counter corners in our house, our college freshmen both break our hearts occasionally - you name it. The progression part though is that she had a project that she needed help with that was up my alley - how our company could use social media. I jumped at the chance because whether it results in advancement or not, I knew I would enjoy it and it IS professionally related output. Yay!

The last thing was sad in a way, and yes, in a minor way, but still. Greg Bedard from the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel, my Twitter buddy that came to see TH and I in Seattle, is leaving Wisconsin and moving to work for the Boston Globe as their premier NFL writer. Very cool for Greg, he's from the region and loves the Red Sox, but I was momentarily crushed, because he and I chatter about things every so often that are much beyond the Packers. Real Housewives of... (he and his wife love it, I DO NOT get it at all), last night we chatted about the Rutgers student's suicide because Greg went to Rutgers and I knew he'd be crushed, and other things now and again. Then I stopped and thought - you know, if I have any kind of connection in reality here to this very nice man, it's not going to stop because he leaves Wisconsin. Not like he lives next door to me in Boise, after all. And if we don't keep chattering, I know it was part of his professional obligation to talk to fans but he did it like a gentleman and that in this day and age is refreshing.

So - some new things for me to do, to think about, to write about and hopefully they'll result in some personal growth and accentuate the good things that seem to be brewing or already exist in my life. Start being appreciative, damn it. (I remind myself.)

The Bears Still Suck

Well, I didn't get the job, so I'm going to hang on until after the first of the year as certain good things will come my way if I do. Keep your fingers crossed that something happens after that. I know, I know, and I do believe things happen for a reason but sometimes it's really hard to see what that reason is.

In other related bad news, Monday Night Football sucked. (I know, Steven, you enjoyed it hugely.)

I don't care if the Bears won, they played the absolute worst game for the most part that I've seen and still managed to win - because the Packers beat themselves. McCarthy should be shot for making bad challenges - I think he went to the Childress School for the Criminally Insane NFL Head Coaches.

On the other hand, Aaron Rodgers played a beautiful game. Kid, you're growing up. *Sniff*

I remember how dismayed I was when Brent left and how I worried about Aaron's durability. I wasn't alone, I know, but I feel guilty now in the face of his grace, good humor and ability to suffer way too many sacks last year. He retweeted me this summer (this, folks, is a big deal) and I printed it out to frame and put in my pool room. Brent wouldn't know how to type, much less how to treat fans nicely on Twitter.

Anyhow, since I can't rub it in cousin Steve's face about the loss by playing one of my favorite tunes ( I LOVE a good polka), I'd like to play this particular tune for Brian Urlacher and Jay Cutler. Dudes, no one made you King of Anything.

And the Packers aren't drowning. That is all.

Talk Thursday - What I Learned - And Did - This Summer

Wow. I don't think I've ever gone this long without posting. It's been a wacky summer, kids. Some ways good, some ways bad, all ways more than I wanted, I think.

I've done a lot, and a lot of nothing. It depends on which week/month it was. I promise to post some pics of our trip to DC, but in the meantime, here's what I was up to this summer.

Things I Did:

Went to Reno to see Big Bit graduate. Mom, TH, Little Bit and I made the trip and my cousin the Godmother made a detour from her vacation in order to see her Godson graduate. It was a good weekend and really amazing. Big Bit asked me if I cried afterwards, to which TH responded "How many times would you like to hear about?" Too true. All I could think of was him in his little pink and blue cap laying in my arms while I said "Hi Dude, welcome to the world." It goes so damn fast.

Got hooked on Twitter. It gives the instant gratification a distracted Type A personality like me seems to require. I've had some great interactions with people there, some famous (Kelsey Grammer), some known to many (Mike Freeman, who writes for CBS Sports Online, has written several books and apparently wants to kidnap my beagle) and some known only to me. That may have been part of the reason I haven't blogged, and I know Kris has alluded to this as well...you've kind of said things you wanted to say and that takes away from the will to write. If you don't Twitter, you might like it. If you ever do and you follow me, it's really me, warts, liberal viewpoint, Packer obsession and all. You have been warned.

Went to Washington, DC. Awesome week. Did not want to go home. Could live there if I could live in the city. Have to make much more money to live in the city than I think I can. We hit about everything you could want to, including the White House and the Capitol tours (thank you Senator Crapo, I'll never vote for you but still). Met @thewino (Kris), @htphelps (Holly) and @KingMonkeyPants (James Bond), the first two being lovely ladies who blog about life (Kris) and the Packers (Holly) and now are on Twitter as well, the latter a dear friend of Kris' who is a source of absolute joy to me with his abundant humor on Twitter. I would have taken a picture of all of them, but KMP has some sort of super secret government job and I think he would have had to shoot us had he been photographed (I keed, I keed). The whole family was taken with them, to the point that when we went to National Airport (as the locals still call it) to fly home, Little Bit sadly waved out the window of the Metro and said "Bye, Monkey."

Not something I did - but - TH won the Golden Mallet tournament. AGAIN. Friend Steve was a bit apoplectic, because it's Steve's party, on Steve's birthday (this year) and he lost that damn mallet again. He'd gained it back for all of one year.

Had our annual Fourth of July BBQ so we could all troop over to the Depot and watch fireworks. Little Bit had a friend over, friends Steve and Bob brought their kids and everyone had a blast. The amount of munitions in our driveway the next day spoke for themselves.

Went to the Braun Brothers Family Reunion weekend in Challis. Never have been, always wanted to go (an old friend of TH's used to play in their band WAY back when) and finally did. I knew Muzzie and Billy's Mom and Dad when I was little and they were very sweet.

Mom organized it and we had a lot of fun. I think we'll go back next year but I will take earplugs because while I can still party, I can't stay up until 4 a.m. with the kids from LSU; or, to be honest, the nice cowboy and his wife (older than us!) from central Washington who were riding their bicycles in the dark at midnight while TH and I had a last beer and chuckled our heads off. They were very nice though and offered us breakfast the next day.

Went to Seattle for a PACKER game - Woohoo! Okay, here's the thing, Seattle contingent, including not only family but my Packer blog buddy Cuphound - we got there Friday night, ate dinner, went to bed, got up Saturday morning, ate breakfast, went into Seattle on the light rail (we stayed by the airport), had lunch with my old boss, Jenny, who we haven't seen in over a year, went to a tailgate party that I had been invited to by the Northwest Packer Backers, met another Twitter buddy @Greg_A_Bedard who writes for the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel (boy was I nervous, but he's just a nice, witty, guy who likes to write about the Packers and their crazy fans like me), went to the stadium, ate, watched the game, took the light rail back, got up, had lunch and flew home. Whew. Next time I go over there I'm going to have more time and less things booked.

Things I learned:

It sucks when your teenager really starts acting like one. It was a rough summer with Big Bit, he tended to disappear off the face of the earth once he got back from vacation with his Dad. He wanted to spend most of the summer in Reno with his friends, understandably, but he also decided that he never needed to talk to me just to let me know he was alive (much less had he done any of the things he needed to do...yeah, Mom was asking), there were a few tears and a couple of irritated conversations. If you've gotten to 18.5 years without having all this attitude, I think it surprises you even more. Thank God for my sister-in-law who provided the exact perspective I needed after one of these conversations as she had gone through the same thing - late rebellion. Now Big Bit is here, all is fine and back to a different kind of normal and he's ready to kick off Welcome Week this weekend and get in the swim of college life. I'm excited for him, but I think he might be more excited, though nervous.

Life is damn hard and I'm not as resilient as I used to be. I am grateful to have a decent job with good pay in this economy. I am glad my boss is not Sybil and her boss (and his boss) seem to like me. Still, there are many writings on the wall which say the long term prospects are not good. I'm tired of feeling underutilized and overbored. I've been working on the attitude but it's hard. (Whiner, you say? You would be right and I've said that to myself.) There is a possibility of a job on the horizon that in some ways looks promising and in some ways looks scary due to some inside info I have. I should know if I have it next week. Without divulging much, let's just say that it involves a very stable employer. And a pension. And those are very, very attractive things.

I probably don't have the patience to really learn to play piano, but God bless my friend Allen for trying to teach me.

I am technically old enough to be Aaron Rodgers' mother. Damn, that's depressing.

Our little Mario beagle has a big heart and a fierce growl. We think he may have been abused because the poor little guy recoils if you even raise your voice. Big Bit terrified him accidentally with a fly swatter of all things. But he's very dear to us already.

Little Bit has to have some testing, probably in a couple of months, because the dr. we got referred to thinks he may have borderline Asperger's. Maybe not, but maybe. And while I'm grateful that it isn't worse, because obviously things always could be, I'm struggling more than a little bit with this particular bit of news.

I'm two months from being a year older and I don't think I'm any wiser. When does that kick in, exactly?

Lastly, I found out last night that the EHFH has a tumor on his liver and has to have a biopsy next week. He's only 44. Big Bit is understandably upset and concerned (as am I, actually) so please keep EHFH and Big Bit in your thoughts and prayers. With BB starting college next week here, the timing is of course impeccable. NOT.

So, in WAY more than a nutshell, that is what's been going on. I promise to write more so as not to write a novel again. I hope you've all been well and I promise you haven't been away from my thoughts.

Right after 9/11, TH and I were fortunate enough to go to Sun Valley, thanks to Jenny the old boss and her free tix to see James Taylor. The world at that time seemed quite upset and wrong, as everyone knows. He made us feel so, so much calmer and optimistic. This video is earlier, but quite representative of the reaction he got in Idaho. His daughter, Sally, played with him. I remember him saying, "It's so important we keep on going, though right now it's so hard." Those words have resonated with me, over and over, to this day.

James, I need you to come play a concert in my backyard. Just sayin'. Please?

One of the best times in my life, that concert was, even in the face of such tragedy in our country. Always remember.

'Nuff Said

Note: I had a Paul Thorn video posted here because I was feeling sorry for myself. It's a song called "I Have a Good Day Every Now and Then". I went back to make a note to say I was okay, just having an incredibly horrible day. Somehow I deleted the video. Sigh.

I plan on blogging this weekend about the last month, which really has had lots of high points. Now if I only knew how to deal with the mundane.