Yep, I set the topic again, so I feel obligated to write. I have written on other's topics (maybe twice, to my shame) so I don't feel like I'm totally favoring myself. :)
Usually, endings are sad. The last few years I've had some that are happy, and some that are sad.
Happy Endings:
Leaving Utah
Child Support
Sad Endings:
My grandmother's passing
My doggie's passing
Beginnings are always more optimistic - there's so much room for opportunity to hope and dream about how things will turn out. The beginning we've experienced over the past few years are well documented on this blog.
When you get into your 40's, it's a little harder to find beginnings, frankly, at least for me. My kid's lives are really still beginning and that's fascinating, but it's their lives, not mine. I might start another new job in the next few years - but more and more, as friend Shawn says, the time I (and he) spent at the Mothership working for Jenny looks like an aberration in one's career, not a constant. Everything else has been a job. I've been with TH for almost 16 years and all signs point to it's going to last (thankfully!). I'm not moving ever again, I've decided, so that's out. Let's face it, I am truly the picture of your middle aged Mom.
But....
One thing that has happened is, in a way, a beginning for me. Big Bit has chosen a college. He is going to go to the College of Idaho, the fine institution I wrote about previously and which I attended for all of one semester. Because of the cost (private school = $$$) and because like me as a college freshman he doesn't feel like he would live well in a dorm, he's going to live with us. It's about a 25 mile drive one way, but trust me, the gas in his car (Honda Civic) in no way compares with the cost of living on campus, and he needs to stretch his dollars to last as long as possible.
Since he started school, we've had Big Bit with us a lot - during year round school, probably 4 months total or more of the year, summers during middle schools, weekends frequently etc. (Of course, prior to that I had him full or half time at least). He spent his freshman year in Utah with us, which was wonderful, but it ended badly (not because of anything he or I did, but a third force if you know who I mean) and he went back. He was worried for me and him if he stayed with me.
Now, he's an adult, or as Little Bit put it "He can do whatever he wants, can't he Mom?"
So, in an odd way, Big Bit's graduation, which is an ending, is a beginning for both him, and me. I don't look at him coming to school here as "I win" or anything like it. He picked a school he wants to go to, and we happen to live near it. It saves him money to live here, so he will have less student loan debt at the end.
But still, it's going to be fun to see college through his perspective. I hope he handles it all far, far better than I did. I think, in spite of his shyness that I fully share (and more) that he will be able to enjoy school and not do something stupid like get married (too soon).
Now to go see about selling a kidney to pay for school, as well as the new roof that we weren't supposed to need for 3 more years (augh). That is all.
Sunday, May 16, 2010
Thursday, April 29, 2010
PAID IN FULL
As of yesterday....I have experienced an epic event. I PAID MY LAST CHILD SUPPORT CHECK. EVER. EVER. EVER.
Well, let me restate that. I have paid the last dime I have to pay that benefits someone other than my child more than my child himself. Let me clarify a bit. Actually, since January I have been paying Big Bit directly, as I had stated my preference to do so starting with his birthday and EHFH actually said (via Big Bit, of course) that it was fine to start early. So, this year hasn't been too bad.
However, it was a really weird feeling to mail that check yesterday. I am not glad Big Bit is grown up, mind you. (at least not all the time, most of the time I'd like him to be 7 again, and his brother a newborn - they were so stinking cute and one didn't talk back and the other couldn't!) Whether a child lives with you full time or not, that sensation of leaving the nest is one that I think is universal. It's an odd feeling to know he's in charge of his decisions and consequences and as of mid-June, whether he goes to school any further or not.
Also, I do not dispute the obligation of a "non-custodial" (term makes me laugh, 'cause kids, there's been a whole lot of "custodial" duties I've continued to perform through the years, from dental visits, to braces, to immunizations, to haircuts - all fun for me, actually) parent to pay money to the other in order to benefit the child. My beef was more around the fact I far rather would have put it into a college fund, which would be approximately twice the size of the check that Big Bit's other parent has given to him for college. And yes, he could afford to do without the money. As did I - when Big Bit lived with us in Utah, every cent I received went straight to his college fund. He was amazed at how much I'd actually accumulated from that time alone.
It's a really liberating feeling to know that from now on, ANYTHING I do for Big Bit financially is because I want to, because we've discussed it, and because it makes perfect sense (hopefully, anyway). I think I feel a little at loose ends. Odd.
Money, and Big Bit, have been the things that have tied me to EHFH for 16 years longer than I wished to be. I know I wasn't going to write about him anymore, but this is really about me. And how all shackles are off now. All I HAVE to do is enjoy and continue to have a relationship with my beloved firstborn. I feel like I'm 27 again. Anything's possible.
I leave you with this thought. He Thinks He'll Keep Her, indeed.
Well, let me restate that. I have paid the last dime I have to pay that benefits someone other than my child more than my child himself. Let me clarify a bit. Actually, since January I have been paying Big Bit directly, as I had stated my preference to do so starting with his birthday and EHFH actually said (via Big Bit, of course) that it was fine to start early. So, this year hasn't been too bad.
However, it was a really weird feeling to mail that check yesterday. I am not glad Big Bit is grown up, mind you. (at least not all the time, most of the time I'd like him to be 7 again, and his brother a newborn - they were so stinking cute and one didn't talk back and the other couldn't!) Whether a child lives with you full time or not, that sensation of leaving the nest is one that I think is universal. It's an odd feeling to know he's in charge of his decisions and consequences and as of mid-June, whether he goes to school any further or not.
Also, I do not dispute the obligation of a "non-custodial" (term makes me laugh, 'cause kids, there's been a whole lot of "custodial" duties I've continued to perform through the years, from dental visits, to braces, to immunizations, to haircuts - all fun for me, actually) parent to pay money to the other in order to benefit the child. My beef was more around the fact I far rather would have put it into a college fund, which would be approximately twice the size of the check that Big Bit's other parent has given to him for college. And yes, he could afford to do without the money. As did I - when Big Bit lived with us in Utah, every cent I received went straight to his college fund. He was amazed at how much I'd actually accumulated from that time alone.
It's a really liberating feeling to know that from now on, ANYTHING I do for Big Bit financially is because I want to, because we've discussed it, and because it makes perfect sense (hopefully, anyway). I think I feel a little at loose ends. Odd.
Money, and Big Bit, have been the things that have tied me to EHFH for 16 years longer than I wished to be. I know I wasn't going to write about him anymore, but this is really about me. And how all shackles are off now. All I HAVE to do is enjoy and continue to have a relationship with my beloved firstborn. I feel like I'm 27 again. Anything's possible.
I leave you with this thought. He Thinks He'll Keep Her, indeed.
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Talk Thursday - Things That Must Go
I'm grateful to JulieAnn for this topic - I've wanted to write for a while, and haven't been able to or truly motivated to - for a variety of reasons. This one, though, resonated so much that I had to write.
My feelings about my time in Utah are fairly well known and documented, on this blog in particular. One thing I loved, though, was the "Radio From Hell" show. I miss Kerry, Bill and Gina.
They made me laugh out loud on the way to work with their dead on assessments of life in Utah. I also, to this day, use the term "asshat", which I quickly appropriated from Bill. I don't know why it made me laugh. But it did.
I don't know if this will lighten things up as much as JA would like - but here goes.
THINGS THAT MUST GO:
1) My thinking I can fix things for people.
2) People who run red lights.
3) Viking fans. (I would have said Bears fans, but I love my cousin, so no go.)
4) People who don't like Boise. That includes the CEO of a certain corporation that shall remain nameless. You don't have to want to live here, mind you, but just be okay with those of us that do.
5) Tea Party members who use racials slurs. Actually, pretty much anybody that uses racial slurs.
6) Things that keep preventing Jeff Gordon from winning a race. Seriously, people, it's getting ridiculous.
7) Rainy weather (at least for a while)!
8) The Denver Nuggets (the Jazz beat them last night and I believe will continue to do so).
9) Brent Fav-rah. 'Nuff said.
10) My worrying about stupid crap I can't control. Enough already. (See #1 above).
Those, in a nutshell, are things that MUST go. Oh, you're right, I have a list of 100 or so more. But that will do for a start.
My feelings about my time in Utah are fairly well known and documented, on this blog in particular. One thing I loved, though, was the "Radio From Hell" show. I miss Kerry, Bill and Gina.
They made me laugh out loud on the way to work with their dead on assessments of life in Utah. I also, to this day, use the term "asshat", which I quickly appropriated from Bill. I don't know why it made me laugh. But it did.
I don't know if this will lighten things up as much as JA would like - but here goes.
THINGS THAT MUST GO:
1) My thinking I can fix things for people.
2) People who run red lights.
3) Viking fans. (I would have said Bears fans, but I love my cousin, so no go.)
4) People who don't like Boise. That includes the CEO of a certain corporation that shall remain nameless. You don't have to want to live here, mind you, but just be okay with those of us that do.
5) Tea Party members who use racials slurs. Actually, pretty much anybody that uses racial slurs.
6) Things that keep preventing Jeff Gordon from winning a race. Seriously, people, it's getting ridiculous.
7) Rainy weather (at least for a while)!
8) The Denver Nuggets (the Jazz beat them last night and I believe will continue to do so).
9) Brent Fav-rah. 'Nuff said.
10) My worrying about stupid crap I can't control. Enough already. (See #1 above).
Those, in a nutshell, are things that MUST go. Oh, you're right, I have a list of 100 or so more. But that will do for a start.
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Spring?
They keep saying it's spring. I don't believe it. It snowed here this week. No, it didn't stick BUT THAT'S NOT THE POINT!
Bogus Basin ski area closes this weekend, and for once, I think the snow is better now than it has been a lot of the season. I guess we'll go skiing - but I really want warmth, sun and to be able to plant my garden.
Bogus Basin ski area closes this weekend, and for once, I think the snow is better now than it has been a lot of the season. I guess we'll go skiing - but I really want warmth, sun and to be able to plant my garden.
I have some better pictures of finches that I got today, but for now, this is the extent of my bird photos - every time I've tried to take their pictures, until yesterday, the damn things flew off.
Bucky got his paws on a squirrel Monday, but it put the afterburners on and escaped. Now there's a dead dove by our back door. Okay, cat, you've done enough damage to the animal kingdom this week, you can take a break.
In other news? I am way behind on my homework for my CEBS certification (but I'm catching up), Big Bit still hasn't chosen a school, but will be here next week and hopefully will do so.
We've booked a trip to celebrate Big Bit's graduation - we're going to Washington, D.C. Thankfully we had enough frequent flyer miles from years of travel and a merger between Northwest and Delta to get plane tickets. We are excited, I've been there for work but only got to visit the Mall area briefly, Big Bit went but there was a hurricane that week and he didn't get to do much, and Little Bit and TH have never been. So this should be fun.
The Green Bay Packers were kind enough to announce a pre-season game in Seattle in August. That will be our other extravagance - it's the only chance I have to watch them this year, so we're going.
Now, if it would just get warm enough to move about freely outside. I have cabin fever in the worst way.
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Top 10 Things To Do In Boise
As promised to Kris aka @thewino on Twitter, I'm compiling my favorite things about Boise as a mini guide to her, should she be fortunate enough to visit my fair city.
1) The Greenbelt. Boise is a very fortunate city to have a beautiful parks system that runs on both sides (for the most part) of the Boise River. The Greenbelt is an amazing place to bike, walk, jog or lounge with a refreshing beverage. As long as the cops don't see you (if you're too close to the river, that is).
2)The Pen Not, not the one people are in NOW, the Old Pen. It's on Warm Springs Avenue. It sounds weird, but touring it is cool. It's got some really interesting architecture, and I always am amazed to be reminded that when it finally was "retired", I was, I think, 7 and my husband 10. It's not surprising that the reason we got a new prison is that the prisoners rioted at this one and burned a lot of it down. I can't blame them a bit. It's kind of out of the "Shawshank Redemption" except for there's no nice Morgan Freeman around.
3) The Boise Train Depot. The company I work for built this building many many years ago. (They also built the Hoover Dam). Looking at downtown Boise from the bell tower is amazing.
4) The Capitol Building. Our capitol is, I believe, one of the most beautiful in the 50 states. It's certainly a hell of a lot prettier than Nevada's, which is basically a rectangle of bricks with a teensy white dome on top. It's been recently remodeled and it's spectacular. Now if only there were more spectacular people in it.
5) The Idaho Shakespeare Festival, if visiting from June-September. Tom & Joe. The Fool Squad. They're amazing. That is all.
6) Table Rock. The brewpub or the hill, doesn't matter. The brewpub because that's where I met The Husband (and the beer is good, even if I'm no longer fond of their menu) and the hill because it's a great hike. One I obviously need to make more often, looking at myself in the mirror.
7) The MK Nature Center. Because you can see fish THIS BIG that you can't catch and they are laughing at you because of it. However, sometimes you get to see a mink catch one there and that is extremely satisfying for both mink and human. Sometimes you even see some of these guys.
8) The Crack. Get your minds out of the gutter. I'm referring to a piece of "art" that resides at the Grove Hotel. It's been the butt of jokes ever since it's unveiling, but we're all secretly fond of it. Here's how Boise Weekly describes it (much differently than Tom & Joe do, let me tell you):
BEST PUBLIC ART THAT GLOWS IN THE DARK Grove Street Illuminated & Boise Canal by Amy Westover-This is one of the better pieces of public art gracing our fair city. Created by one of Boise's own, it's just as intriguing during the day as it is at night. Westover masterfully combined style and substance to create an artwork that is aesthetically pleasing as well as historically illuminating. 9th and Front
9) The Museums (Art and Historical). They're right next to each other, (right by Table Rock brewpub, strangely enough) and I'm always happy to go see the two-headed calf, who's been there ever since I was a tot if not before and the art museum is fun - because believe it or not, we actually have art out here in the sticks!
10) Curtis Stigers. Well, you can't just go "see" Curtis. But he lives here. And I've seen him sing jazz and I've seen him eat croquetas at Bar Gernika. He's pretty cute eating croquetas. He's pretty cute any time, actually. My sons were appalled at my slack jawed gazing while sitting next to him. He was kind and ignored me. In addition to jazz, he also wrote the title song for the "Sons of Anarchy" series and had a huge pop hit back in the day. When he had long hair.
11) All things Basque. This would include Bar Gernika as referenced above (really a small restaurant, but there's definitely a bar there), Epi's Basque Restaurant (technically in Meridian, but that's worth a 15 minute drive, trust me, food is awesome and Chris, the owner, is the sweetest thing ever), the Basque Market and the Basque Museum.
Oops, that's 11 things. It's actually more like 20, since I kept throwing stuff in. Sorry, Kris, I've probably overwhelmed you. But I hope you get to come here and I hope you like it.
1) The Greenbelt. Boise is a very fortunate city to have a beautiful parks system that runs on both sides (for the most part) of the Boise River. The Greenbelt is an amazing place to bike, walk, jog or lounge with a refreshing beverage. As long as the cops don't see you (if you're too close to the river, that is).2)The Pen Not, not the one people are in NOW, the Old Pen. It's on Warm Springs Avenue. It sounds weird, but touring it is cool. It's got some really interesting architecture, and I always am amazed to be reminded that when it finally was "retired", I was, I think, 7 and my husband 10. It's not surprising that the reason we got a new prison is that the prisoners rioted at this one and burned a lot of it down. I can't blame them a bit. It's kind of out of the "Shawshank Redemption" except for there's no nice Morgan Freeman around.
3) The Boise Train Depot. The company I work for built this building many many years ago. (They also built the Hoover Dam). Looking at downtown Boise from the bell tower is amazing.
4) The Capitol Building. Our capitol is, I believe, one of the most beautiful in the 50 states. It's certainly a hell of a lot prettier than Nevada's, which is basically a rectangle of bricks with a teensy white dome on top. It's been recently remodeled and it's spectacular. Now if only there were more spectacular people in it.
5) The Idaho Shakespeare Festival, if visiting from June-September. Tom & Joe. The Fool Squad. They're amazing. That is all.
6) Table Rock. The brewpub or the hill, doesn't matter. The brewpub because that's where I met The Husband (and the beer is good, even if I'm no longer fond of their menu) and the hill because it's a great hike. One I obviously need to make more often, looking at myself in the mirror.
7) The MK Nature Center. Because you can see fish THIS BIG that you can't catch and they are laughing at you because of it. However, sometimes you get to see a mink catch one there and that is extremely satisfying for both mink and human. Sometimes you even see some of these guys.
8) The Crack. Get your minds out of the gutter. I'm referring to a piece of "art" that resides at the Grove Hotel. It's been the butt of jokes ever since it's unveiling, but we're all secretly fond of it. Here's how Boise Weekly describes it (much differently than Tom & Joe do, let me tell you):
BEST PUBLIC ART THAT GLOWS IN THE DARK Grove Street Illuminated & Boise Canal by Amy Westover-This is one of the better pieces of public art gracing our fair city. Created by one of Boise's own, it's just as intriguing during the day as it is at night. Westover masterfully combined style and substance to create an artwork that is aesthetically pleasing as well as historically illuminating. 9th and Front
9) The Museums (Art and Historical). They're right next to each other, (right by Table Rock brewpub, strangely enough) and I'm always happy to go see the two-headed calf, who's been there ever since I was a tot if not before and the art museum is fun - because believe it or not, we actually have art out here in the sticks!
10) Curtis Stigers. Well, you can't just go "see" Curtis. But he lives here. And I've seen him sing jazz and I've seen him eat croquetas at Bar Gernika. He's pretty cute eating croquetas. He's pretty cute any time, actually. My sons were appalled at my slack jawed gazing while sitting next to him. He was kind and ignored me. In addition to jazz, he also wrote the title song for the "Sons of Anarchy" series and had a huge pop hit back in the day. When he had long hair.
11) All things Basque. This would include Bar Gernika as referenced above (really a small restaurant, but there's definitely a bar there), Epi's Basque Restaurant (technically in Meridian, but that's worth a 15 minute drive, trust me, food is awesome and Chris, the owner, is the sweetest thing ever), the Basque Market and the Basque Museum.
Oops, that's 11 things. It's actually more like 20, since I kept throwing stuff in. Sorry, Kris, I've probably overwhelmed you. But I hope you get to come here and I hope you like it.
Monday, March 15, 2010
Epic Fail, and other updates
I have been a total sloth in my posting. I haven't "Talk Thursday"d, I haven't randomly rambled, I haven't done anything.
But, I have news to report. Today, my firstborn got an acceptance letter from the College of Idaho, the fine establishment I attended for only a semester, then was stupid enough to leave. And a scholarship. A good one. Not a great one, but one that levels the playing field with his other two options. Which means he really has OPTIONS. (Oh, and a much better one than I got when I went there.) Yeah!
And, I must admit, listening to him talk, I was suddenly sixteen again, looking at a letter and reading the words "The College of Idaho is pleased to inform you you've been accepted for admission as a freshment for the fall of 1983 semester". Or something along those lines. And knowing, suddenly, that you have a future. And options.
Folks, it's a great feeling. For both of us.
Now to see what he ends up getting from everyone. I may end up disappointed from my own selfish perspective. But I think he got some idea of what you can accomplish in life if you take college seriously. More seriously than I did, for sure.
Isn't it great, parents, when you get that just blissfully happy feeling for your children?
But, I have news to report. Today, my firstborn got an acceptance letter from the College of Idaho, the fine establishment I attended for only a semester, then was stupid enough to leave. And a scholarship. A good one. Not a great one, but one that levels the playing field with his other two options. Which means he really has OPTIONS. (Oh, and a much better one than I got when I went there.) Yeah!
And, I must admit, listening to him talk, I was suddenly sixteen again, looking at a letter and reading the words "The College of Idaho is pleased to inform you you've been accepted for admission as a freshment for the fall of 1983 semester". Or something along those lines. And knowing, suddenly, that you have a future. And options.
Folks, it's a great feeling. For both of us.
Now to see what he ends up getting from everyone. I may end up disappointed from my own selfish perspective. But I think he got some idea of what you can accomplish in life if you take college seriously. More seriously than I did, for sure.
Isn't it great, parents, when you get that just blissfully happy feeling for your children?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
