Life is weird sometimes. Well, if you're me, it's weird all the time, but that's another story for another Talk Thursday.
One of the reasons I didn't write over the summer is I was just working through stuff. I keep thinking "You're in your 40's, you're supposed to have this all figured out." But I don't, and I keep working at it. I've been frustrated because I don't have a job I love. I love where I live, and when we moved back I remember telling TH "I can hate my job or I can hate where I live, but I can't hate both, I'll never make it." In some ways this is true. I couldn't. But I find disliking one or the other very disheartening. Don Quixote, quit tilting at windmills.
I've been trying to find paths in which I can feel fulfilled in different ways at my output, even if it's not output I get paid for. That's a bit challenging given that I do have a job, a family and I'm trying to get a professional certification that's good for the resume if not much else.
Today a few weird things happened. Two of them positive, one not in a way but a way that made me thoughtful. Today was truly a progression for me, and that's not an experience I've had in a while.
First, when I got to work, I had a message from @wallypingel on Twitter asking me if I'd be interested in providing a female sports/Packers perspective to his blog, PocketDoppler.com. I "met" Wally through CheeseheadTV and he has some people he collaborates on this site, which definitely has content of interest to me. I thought for a couple of hours - I love to write, I've been told I'm good at it professionally but for entertainment? Whew. But, I was thinking yesterday that I would love to do something like be a professional sportswriter, or a blogger that became financially solvent for it. Aaron Nagler from CheeseheadTv was featured in the New York Times yesterday along with his partner in crime Corey Behnke. They don't do this for a living. YET. But I think they might pull it off. I don't think I ever would but I thought - what the hell? So I'm going to have a weekly post for Wally unless he thinks I suck at writing. In which case you will never hear another mention of this again.
Second - had a great lunch with the colleague who's daughter is attending school with Big Bit and we found out that we had much in common - we both love Craig Ferguson, we both have surreptitious piles of "important" papers on various counter corners in our house, our college freshmen both break our hearts occasionally - you name it. The progression part though is that she had a project that she needed help with that was up my alley - how our company could use social media. I jumped at the chance because whether it results in advancement or not, I knew I would enjoy it and it IS professionally related output. Yay!
The last thing was sad in a way, and yes, in a minor way, but still. Greg Bedard from the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel, my Twitter buddy that came to see TH and I in Seattle, is leaving Wisconsin and moving to work for the Boston Globe as their premier NFL writer. Very cool for Greg, he's from the region and loves the Red Sox, but I was momentarily crushed, because he and I chatter about things every so often that are much beyond the Packers. Real Housewives of... (he and his wife love it, I DO NOT get it at all), last night we chatted about the Rutgers student's suicide because Greg went to Rutgers and I knew he'd be crushed, and other things now and again. Then I stopped and thought - you know, if I have any kind of connection in reality here to this very nice man, it's not going to stop because he leaves Wisconsin. Not like he lives next door to me in Boise, after all. And if we don't keep chattering, I know it was part of his professional obligation to talk to fans but he did it like a gentleman and that in this day and age is refreshing.
So - some new things for me to do, to think about, to write about and hopefully they'll result in some personal growth and accentuate the good things that seem to be brewing or already exist in my life. Start being appreciative, damn it. (I remind myself.)
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
The Bears Still Suck
Well, I didn't get the job, so I'm going to hang on until after the first of the year as certain good things will come my way if I do. Keep your fingers crossed that something happens after that. I know, I know, and I do believe things happen for a reason but sometimes it's really hard to see what that reason is.
In other related bad news, Monday Night Football sucked. (I know, Steven, you enjoyed it hugely.)
I don't care if the Bears won, they played the absolute worst game for the most part that I've seen and still managed to win - because the Packers beat themselves. McCarthy should be shot for making bad challenges - I think he went to the Childress School for the Criminally Insane NFL Head Coaches.
On the other hand, Aaron Rodgers played a beautiful game. Kid, you're growing up. *Sniff*
I remember how dismayed I was when Brent left and how I worried about Aaron's durability. I wasn't alone, I know, but I feel guilty now in the face of his grace, good humor and ability to suffer way too many sacks last year. He retweeted me this summer (this, folks, is a big deal) and I printed it out to frame and put in my pool room. Brent wouldn't know how to type, much less how to treat fans nicely on Twitter.
Anyhow, since I can't rub it in cousin Steve's face about the loss by playing one of my favorite tunes ( I LOVE a good polka), I'd like to play this particular tune for Brian Urlacher and Jay Cutler. Dudes, no one made you King of Anything.
And the Packers aren't drowning. That is all.
In other related bad news, Monday Night Football sucked. (I know, Steven, you enjoyed it hugely.)
I don't care if the Bears won, they played the absolute worst game for the most part that I've seen and still managed to win - because the Packers beat themselves. McCarthy should be shot for making bad challenges - I think he went to the Childress School for the Criminally Insane NFL Head Coaches.
On the other hand, Aaron Rodgers played a beautiful game. Kid, you're growing up. *Sniff*
I remember how dismayed I was when Brent left and how I worried about Aaron's durability. I wasn't alone, I know, but I feel guilty now in the face of his grace, good humor and ability to suffer way too many sacks last year. He retweeted me this summer (this, folks, is a big deal) and I printed it out to frame and put in my pool room. Brent wouldn't know how to type, much less how to treat fans nicely on Twitter.
Anyhow, since I can't rub it in cousin Steve's face about the loss by playing one of my favorite tunes ( I LOVE a good polka), I'd like to play this particular tune for Brian Urlacher and Jay Cutler. Dudes, no one made you King of Anything.
And the Packers aren't drowning. That is all.
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
Talk Thursday - What I Learned - And Did - This Summer
Wow. I don't think I've ever gone this long without posting. It's been a wacky summer, kids. Some ways good, some ways bad, all ways more than I wanted, I think.
I've done a lot, and a lot of nothing. It depends on which week/month it was. I promise to post some pics of our trip to DC, but in the meantime, here's what I was up to this summer.
Things I Did:
Went to Reno to see Big Bit graduate. Mom, TH, Little Bit and I made the trip and my cousin the Godmother made a detour from her vacation in order to see her Godson graduate. It was a good weekend and really amazing. Big Bit asked me if I cried afterwards, to which TH responded "How many times would you like to hear about?" Too true. All I could think of was him in his little pink and blue cap laying in my arms while I said "Hi Dude, welcome to the world." It goes so damn fast.
Got hooked on Twitter. It gives the instant gratification a distracted Type A personality like me seems to require. I've had some great interactions with people there, some famous (Kelsey Grammer), some known to many (Mike Freeman, who writes for CBS Sports Online, has written several books and apparently wants to kidnap my beagle) and some known only to me. That may have been part of the reason I haven't blogged, and I know Kris has alluded to this as well...you've kind of said things you wanted to say and that takes away from the will to write. If you don't Twitter, you might like it. If you ever do and you follow me, it's really me, warts, liberal viewpoint, Packer obsession and all. You have been warned.
Went to Washington, DC. Awesome week. Did not want to go home. Could live there if I could live in the city. Have to make much more money to live in the city than I think I can. We hit about everything you could want to, including the White House and the Capitol tours (thank you Senator Crapo, I'll never vote for you but still). Met @thewino (Kris), @htphelps (Holly) and @KingMonkeyPants (James Bond), the first two being lovely ladies who blog about life (Kris) and the Packers (Holly) and now are on Twitter as well, the latter a dear friend of Kris' who is a source of absolute joy to me with his abundant humor on Twitter. I would have taken a picture of all of them, but KMP has some sort of super secret government job and I think he would have had to shoot us had he been photographed (I keed, I keed). The whole family was taken with them, to the point that when we went to National Airport (as the locals still call it) to fly home, Little Bit sadly waved out the window of the Metro and said "Bye, Monkey."
Not something I did - but - TH won the Golden Mallet tournament. AGAIN. Friend Steve was a bit apoplectic, because it's Steve's party, on Steve's birthday (this year) and he lost that damn mallet again. He'd gained it back for all of one year.
Had our annual Fourth of July BBQ so we could all troop over to the Depot and watch fireworks. Little Bit had a friend over, friends Steve and Bob brought their kids and everyone had a blast. The amount of munitions in our driveway the next day spoke for themselves.
Went to the Braun Brothers Family Reunion weekend in Challis. Never have been, always wanted to go (an old friend of TH's used to play in their band WAY back when) and finally did. I knew Muzzie and Billy's Mom and Dad when I was little and they were very sweet.
Mom organized it and we had a lot of fun. I think we'll go back next year but I will take earplugs because while I can still party, I can't stay up until 4 a.m. with the kids from LSU; or, to be honest, the nice cowboy and his wife (older than us!) from central Washington who were riding their bicycles in the dark at midnight while TH and I had a last beer and chuckled our heads off. They were very nice though and offered us breakfast the next day.
Went to Seattle for a PACKER game - Woohoo! Okay, here's the thing, Seattle contingent, including not only family but my Packer blog buddy Cuphound - we got there Friday night, ate dinner, went to bed, got up Saturday morning, ate breakfast, went into Seattle on the light rail (we stayed by the airport), had lunch with my old boss, Jenny, who we haven't seen in over a year, went to a tailgate party that I had been invited to by the Northwest Packer Backers, met another Twitter buddy @Greg_A_Bedard who writes for the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel (boy was I nervous, but he's just a nice, witty, guy who likes to write about the Packers and their crazy fans like me), went to the stadium, ate, watched the game, took the light rail back, got up, had lunch and flew home. Whew. Next time I go over there I'm going to have more time and less things booked.
Things I learned:
It sucks when your teenager really starts acting like one. It was a rough summer with Big Bit, he tended to disappear off the face of the earth once he got back from vacation with his Dad. He wanted to spend most of the summer in Reno with his friends, understandably, but he also decided that he never needed to talk to me just to let me know he was alive (much less had he done any of the things he needed to do...yeah, Mom was asking), there were a few tears and a couple of irritated conversations. If you've gotten to 18.5 years without having all this attitude, I think it surprises you even more. Thank God for my sister-in-law who provided the exact perspective I needed after one of these conversations as she had gone through the same thing - late rebellion. Now Big Bit is here, all is fine and back to a different kind of normal and he's ready to kick off Welcome Week this weekend and get in the swim of college life. I'm excited for him, but I think he might be more excited, though nervous.
Life is damn hard and I'm not as resilient as I used to be. I am grateful to have a decent job with good pay in this economy. I am glad my boss is not Sybil and her boss (and his boss) seem to like me. Still, there are many writings on the wall which say the long term prospects are not good. I'm tired of feeling underutilized and overbored. I've been working on the attitude but it's hard. (Whiner, you say? You would be right and I've said that to myself.) There is a possibility of a job on the horizon that in some ways looks promising and in some ways looks scary due to some inside info I have. I should know if I have it next week. Without divulging much, let's just say that it involves a very stable employer. And a pension. And those are very, very attractive things.
I probably don't have the patience to really learn to play piano, but God bless my friend Allen for trying to teach me.
I am technically old enough to be Aaron Rodgers' mother. Damn, that's depressing.
Our little Mario beagle has a big heart and a fierce growl. We think he may have been abused because the poor little guy recoils if you even raise your voice. Big Bit terrified him accidentally with a fly swatter of all things. But he's very dear to us already.
Little Bit has to have some testing, probably in a couple of months, because the dr. we got referred to thinks he may have borderline Asperger's. Maybe not, but maybe. And while I'm grateful that it isn't worse, because obviously things always could be, I'm struggling more than a little bit with this particular bit of news.
I'm two months from being a year older and I don't think I'm any wiser. When does that kick in, exactly?
Lastly, I found out last night that the EHFH has a tumor on his liver and has to have a biopsy next week. He's only 44. Big Bit is understandably upset and concerned (as am I, actually) so please keep EHFH and Big Bit in your thoughts and prayers. With BB starting college next week here, the timing is of course impeccable. NOT.
So, in WAY more than a nutshell, that is what's been going on. I promise to write more so as not to write a novel again. I hope you've all been well and I promise you haven't been away from my thoughts.
I've done a lot, and a lot of nothing. It depends on which week/month it was. I promise to post some pics of our trip to DC, but in the meantime, here's what I was up to this summer.
Things I Did:
Went to Reno to see Big Bit graduate. Mom, TH, Little Bit and I made the trip and my cousin the Godmother made a detour from her vacation in order to see her Godson graduate. It was a good weekend and really amazing. Big Bit asked me if I cried afterwards, to which TH responded "How many times would you like to hear about?" Too true. All I could think of was him in his little pink and blue cap laying in my arms while I said "Hi Dude, welcome to the world." It goes so damn fast.
Got hooked on Twitter. It gives the instant gratification a distracted Type A personality like me seems to require. I've had some great interactions with people there, some famous (Kelsey Grammer), some known to many (Mike Freeman, who writes for CBS Sports Online, has written several books and apparently wants to kidnap my beagle) and some known only to me. That may have been part of the reason I haven't blogged, and I know Kris has alluded to this as well...you've kind of said things you wanted to say and that takes away from the will to write. If you don't Twitter, you might like it. If you ever do and you follow me, it's really me, warts, liberal viewpoint, Packer obsession and all. You have been warned.
Went to Washington, DC. Awesome week. Did not want to go home. Could live there if I could live in the city. Have to make much more money to live in the city than I think I can. We hit about everything you could want to, including the White House and the Capitol tours (thank you Senator Crapo, I'll never vote for you but still). Met @thewino (Kris), @htphelps (Holly) and @KingMonkeyPants (James Bond), the first two being lovely ladies who blog about life (Kris) and the Packers (Holly) and now are on Twitter as well, the latter a dear friend of Kris' who is a source of absolute joy to me with his abundant humor on Twitter. I would have taken a picture of all of them, but KMP has some sort of super secret government job and I think he would have had to shoot us had he been photographed (I keed, I keed). The whole family was taken with them, to the point that when we went to National Airport (as the locals still call it) to fly home, Little Bit sadly waved out the window of the Metro and said "Bye, Monkey."
Not something I did - but - TH won the Golden Mallet tournament. AGAIN. Friend Steve was a bit apoplectic, because it's Steve's party, on Steve's birthday (this year) and he lost that damn mallet again. He'd gained it back for all of one year.
Had our annual Fourth of July BBQ so we could all troop over to the Depot and watch fireworks. Little Bit had a friend over, friends Steve and Bob brought their kids and everyone had a blast. The amount of munitions in our driveway the next day spoke for themselves.
Went to the Braun Brothers Family Reunion weekend in Challis. Never have been, always wanted to go (an old friend of TH's used to play in their band WAY back when) and finally did. I knew Muzzie and Billy's Mom and Dad when I was little and they were very sweet.
Mom organized it and we had a lot of fun. I think we'll go back next year but I will take earplugs because while I can still party, I can't stay up until 4 a.m. with the kids from LSU; or, to be honest, the nice cowboy and his wife (older than us!) from central Washington who were riding their bicycles in the dark at midnight while TH and I had a last beer and chuckled our heads off. They were very nice though and offered us breakfast the next day.
Went to Seattle for a PACKER game - Woohoo! Okay, here's the thing, Seattle contingent, including not only family but my Packer blog buddy Cuphound - we got there Friday night, ate dinner, went to bed, got up Saturday morning, ate breakfast, went into Seattle on the light rail (we stayed by the airport), had lunch with my old boss, Jenny, who we haven't seen in over a year, went to a tailgate party that I had been invited to by the Northwest Packer Backers, met another Twitter buddy @Greg_A_Bedard who writes for the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel (boy was I nervous, but he's just a nice, witty, guy who likes to write about the Packers and their crazy fans like me), went to the stadium, ate, watched the game, took the light rail back, got up, had lunch and flew home. Whew. Next time I go over there I'm going to have more time and less things booked.
Things I learned:
It sucks when your teenager really starts acting like one. It was a rough summer with Big Bit, he tended to disappear off the face of the earth once he got back from vacation with his Dad. He wanted to spend most of the summer in Reno with his friends, understandably, but he also decided that he never needed to talk to me just to let me know he was alive (much less had he done any of the things he needed to do...yeah, Mom was asking), there were a few tears and a couple of irritated conversations. If you've gotten to 18.5 years without having all this attitude, I think it surprises you even more. Thank God for my sister-in-law who provided the exact perspective I needed after one of these conversations as she had gone through the same thing - late rebellion. Now Big Bit is here, all is fine and back to a different kind of normal and he's ready to kick off Welcome Week this weekend and get in the swim of college life. I'm excited for him, but I think he might be more excited, though nervous.
Life is damn hard and I'm not as resilient as I used to be. I am grateful to have a decent job with good pay in this economy. I am glad my boss is not Sybil and her boss (and his boss) seem to like me. Still, there are many writings on the wall which say the long term prospects are not good. I'm tired of feeling underutilized and overbored. I've been working on the attitude but it's hard. (Whiner, you say? You would be right and I've said that to myself.) There is a possibility of a job on the horizon that in some ways looks promising and in some ways looks scary due to some inside info I have. I should know if I have it next week. Without divulging much, let's just say that it involves a very stable employer. And a pension. And those are very, very attractive things.
I probably don't have the patience to really learn to play piano, but God bless my friend Allen for trying to teach me.
I am technically old enough to be Aaron Rodgers' mother. Damn, that's depressing.
Our little Mario beagle has a big heart and a fierce growl. We think he may have been abused because the poor little guy recoils if you even raise your voice. Big Bit terrified him accidentally with a fly swatter of all things. But he's very dear to us already.
Little Bit has to have some testing, probably in a couple of months, because the dr. we got referred to thinks he may have borderline Asperger's. Maybe not, but maybe. And while I'm grateful that it isn't worse, because obviously things always could be, I'm struggling more than a little bit with this particular bit of news.
I'm two months from being a year older and I don't think I'm any wiser. When does that kick in, exactly?
Lastly, I found out last night that the EHFH has a tumor on his liver and has to have a biopsy next week. He's only 44. Big Bit is understandably upset and concerned (as am I, actually) so please keep EHFH and Big Bit in your thoughts and prayers. With BB starting college next week here, the timing is of course impeccable. NOT.
So, in WAY more than a nutshell, that is what's been going on. I promise to write more so as not to write a novel again. I hope you've all been well and I promise you haven't been away from my thoughts.
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Right after 9/11, TH and I were fortunate enough to go to Sun Valley, thanks to Jenny the old boss and her free tix to see James Taylor. The world at that time seemed quite upset and wrong, as everyone knows. He made us feel so, so much calmer and optimistic. This video is earlier, but quite representative of the reaction he got in Idaho. His daughter, Sally, played with him. I remember him saying, "It's so important we keep on going, though right now it's so hard." Those words have resonated with me, over and over, to this day.
James, I need you to come play a concert in my backyard. Just sayin'. Please?
One of the best times in my life, that concert was, even in the face of such tragedy in our country. Always remember.
James, I need you to come play a concert in my backyard. Just sayin'. Please?
One of the best times in my life, that concert was, even in the face of such tragedy in our country. Always remember.
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
'Nuff Said
Note: I had a Paul Thorn video posted here because I was feeling sorry for myself. It's a song called "I Have a Good Day Every Now and Then". I went back to make a note to say I was okay, just having an incredibly horrible day. Somehow I deleted the video. Sigh.
I plan on blogging this weekend about the last month, which really has had lots of high points. Now if I only knew how to deal with the mundane.
I plan on blogging this weekend about the last month, which really has had lots of high points. Now if I only knew how to deal with the mundane.
Thursday, June 3, 2010
Lost in Idaho
Yes, you used to call me lostinutah, but these days I seem to be lostinidaho. Not in the same sense, but I know I've been remiss in trying to write anything whatsoever or comment on others blogs. Though I see some other people are having the same problem. :)
What has been going on? I don't know that it's anything specific...a tad bit of laziness, no doubt, but also just life being life and me ending up watching David Letterman, seeing the Top 10 list and realizing I'm going to be just as tired in the morning as I was the morning of the current day.
The job has been...the job. I've had a couple of nasty surprises in the last week that don't threaten my employment but do seem to confirm that it will lack the thing I like about my field - creativity. Not that I've been allowed to have much anyway, but what I did have is slowly being eliminated by our Corporate structure. (Not at me, mind you, just generally.) I have applied internally for a job that I think I would love, that is a stretch opportunity but one I had some exposure to in Utah. The person I would work for I think I would truly love to be around - she and I have bonded over our children are both going to that fine institution next year I've mentioned previously. We'll see - the recruiter for the job (same guy that was my recruiter for this job) seems to think I'll get an interview at least but the wheels of justice turn slowly.
Memorial Day weekend was a blur. We went to friend Renee's party (lots of fun) but first...we acquired a new family member.
This is Mario, our new evil pet. (Those of you who parent or grandparent Ninentdo addicts will get the name.) He is a 2 year old Beagle, who was a stray at the shelter and we nabbed him. We were going to wait until we got back from our trip to Washington D.C. to celebrate Big Bit's graduation but Beagles don't come through the shelter very often so we nabbed him. Friend Ra will watch him while we're in Reno and a little bit of the D.C. time when Mom is on a Harley ride to Elko.
We also went (late) to my uncles(s) and aunt(s) anniversary party. A supposedly brief lunch at Flatbread Pizza went sadly awry. In addition, I hate really paper-thin crust pizza. Shan't be back. Sorry to the family for showing up for the last 1/2 hour but I did enjoy seeing everyone. Then, we got to go see the new house my dad is having built. It's small, but cute, and when he retires and can't live in his company-provided housing anymore he will have a nice place to live. Sorry, no pics, but once it's done I'll nail some down.
Now - getting ready for graduation (I AM OLD) and our trip to DC. Big Bit has been another distraction (though always welcome) - he was having extreme bouts of senioritis and resenting authority (granted, the authority he was resenting I couldn't live with, so totally understood). To his credit, he got through it all and is great, but I appreciated the fact he wanted to talk to me about it all. I don't take that for granted by any means. Sometimes you see parents and their children grow apart and you wonder - how does that happen? I'm not sure. I don't want to experience it with my kids, so I plan on working hard at appreciating their worlds, even when I don't agree with them.
Back on a Sunday, Big Bit's college orientation on a Monday and then - off to D.C.! We were fortunate enough to score White House tour tickets through Senator Crapo - now if I just see an Obama I'll have a big grin on my face. I know. As if. And I know he's not perfect, okay? Thank you. Looking forward to seeing all the wonderful, inspiring sights that I've seen briefly on work visits to the D.C. area and much more that I've never been exposed to.
I also hope to meet up with Holly and Kris, a couple of ladies met through the blogosphere - we'll see how things shake out but it might be a lot of fun.
So, while I've been totally offline, I haven't been inactive. Hope all is well with everyone's world as well.
Sunday, May 16, 2010
Talk Thursday: Endings...and Beginnings
Yep, I set the topic again, so I feel obligated to write. I have written on other's topics (maybe twice, to my shame) so I don't feel like I'm totally favoring myself. :)
Usually, endings are sad. The last few years I've had some that are happy, and some that are sad.
Happy Endings:
Leaving Utah
Child Support
Sad Endings:
My grandmother's passing
My doggie's passing
Beginnings are always more optimistic - there's so much room for opportunity to hope and dream about how things will turn out. The beginning we've experienced over the past few years are well documented on this blog.
When you get into your 40's, it's a little harder to find beginnings, frankly, at least for me. My kid's lives are really still beginning and that's fascinating, but it's their lives, not mine. I might start another new job in the next few years - but more and more, as friend Shawn says, the time I (and he) spent at the Mothership working for Jenny looks like an aberration in one's career, not a constant. Everything else has been a job. I've been with TH for almost 16 years and all signs point to it's going to last (thankfully!). I'm not moving ever again, I've decided, so that's out. Let's face it, I am truly the picture of your middle aged Mom.
But....
One thing that has happened is, in a way, a beginning for me. Big Bit has chosen a college. He is going to go to the College of Idaho, the fine institution I wrote about previously and which I attended for all of one semester. Because of the cost (private school = $$$) and because like me as a college freshman he doesn't feel like he would live well in a dorm, he's going to live with us. It's about a 25 mile drive one way, but trust me, the gas in his car (Honda Civic) in no way compares with the cost of living on campus, and he needs to stretch his dollars to last as long as possible.
Since he started school, we've had Big Bit with us a lot - during year round school, probably 4 months total or more of the year, summers during middle schools, weekends frequently etc. (Of course, prior to that I had him full or half time at least). He spent his freshman year in Utah with us, which was wonderful, but it ended badly (not because of anything he or I did, but a third force if you know who I mean) and he went back. He was worried for me and him if he stayed with me.
Now, he's an adult, or as Little Bit put it "He can do whatever he wants, can't he Mom?"
So, in an odd way, Big Bit's graduation, which is an ending, is a beginning for both him, and me. I don't look at him coming to school here as "I win" or anything like it. He picked a school he wants to go to, and we happen to live near it. It saves him money to live here, so he will have less student loan debt at the end.
But still, it's going to be fun to see college through his perspective. I hope he handles it all far, far better than I did. I think, in spite of his shyness that I fully share (and more) that he will be able to enjoy school and not do something stupid like get married (too soon).
Now to go see about selling a kidney to pay for school, as well as the new roof that we weren't supposed to need for 3 more years (augh). That is all.
Usually, endings are sad. The last few years I've had some that are happy, and some that are sad.
Happy Endings:
Leaving Utah
Child Support
Sad Endings:
My grandmother's passing
My doggie's passing
Beginnings are always more optimistic - there's so much room for opportunity to hope and dream about how things will turn out. The beginning we've experienced over the past few years are well documented on this blog.
When you get into your 40's, it's a little harder to find beginnings, frankly, at least for me. My kid's lives are really still beginning and that's fascinating, but it's their lives, not mine. I might start another new job in the next few years - but more and more, as friend Shawn says, the time I (and he) spent at the Mothership working for Jenny looks like an aberration in one's career, not a constant. Everything else has been a job. I've been with TH for almost 16 years and all signs point to it's going to last (thankfully!). I'm not moving ever again, I've decided, so that's out. Let's face it, I am truly the picture of your middle aged Mom.
But....
One thing that has happened is, in a way, a beginning for me. Big Bit has chosen a college. He is going to go to the College of Idaho, the fine institution I wrote about previously and which I attended for all of one semester. Because of the cost (private school = $$$) and because like me as a college freshman he doesn't feel like he would live well in a dorm, he's going to live with us. It's about a 25 mile drive one way, but trust me, the gas in his car (Honda Civic) in no way compares with the cost of living on campus, and he needs to stretch his dollars to last as long as possible.
Since he started school, we've had Big Bit with us a lot - during year round school, probably 4 months total or more of the year, summers during middle schools, weekends frequently etc. (Of course, prior to that I had him full or half time at least). He spent his freshman year in Utah with us, which was wonderful, but it ended badly (not because of anything he or I did, but a third force if you know who I mean) and he went back. He was worried for me and him if he stayed with me.
Now, he's an adult, or as Little Bit put it "He can do whatever he wants, can't he Mom?"
So, in an odd way, Big Bit's graduation, which is an ending, is a beginning for both him, and me. I don't look at him coming to school here as "I win" or anything like it. He picked a school he wants to go to, and we happen to live near it. It saves him money to live here, so he will have less student loan debt at the end.
But still, it's going to be fun to see college through his perspective. I hope he handles it all far, far better than I did. I think, in spite of his shyness that I fully share (and more) that he will be able to enjoy school and not do something stupid like get married (too soon).
Now to go see about selling a kidney to pay for school, as well as the new roof that we weren't supposed to need for 3 more years (augh). That is all.
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