Friday, March 7, 2008

The tale of the Mayor vs. "The Wrong Element"

Okay, although severely delayed by horrible news from Wisconsin, here as promised is the funny story. Of course, since I've referred to it as that for so long, it probably won't live up to the hype. I guess this is more the "example of why I find Utah so freaking weird" story.

Once upon a time, you had to go to a State Liquor Store (SLS) to buy anything other than 3.2 beer. You had to pay IN CASH OR CHECK (no credit cards, mind you) and there were many restrictions and few liquor stores. Yes, this includes wine, people and you can't buy any of it COLD. BECAUSE THEN YOU MIGHT DRINK IT. OR SOMETHING. (Yes, we have SLS in Idaho, no I hardly ever had to go to one because cold beverages were sold at grocery stores).

Apparently a few years back a social drinker was selected to the DABC (who operates the liquor stores for the State). This wonderful woman got a lot done - you can now buy with a credit card, some of the other issues (all of which I don't know enough about to list) were resolved and with the Olympics coming to town, most of the stupidity around having a drink with dinner were resolved. Sadly, none of these solved the private club issue, which is a whole other ball of wax that I will speak to at a different time, and you still pretty much can only buy 3.2 beer at the store, everything else is at the SLS.

So, to make a long story longer, the DABC has been actively expanding the number of SLS around the state. It is their decision on where to put them and when, the municipalities do not get a vote (though they yell a lot about it and occasionally get the location at least moved).

Shortly after buying our house, plans were announced to build a store in our little burgh. We are in one of the fastest growing areas of the state and the closest store is AT LEAST 10 MILES. On the other side of I-15. If you go north it's 10 miles. No biggie you say? Perhaps not, but one right down the street is much more convenient.

After announcement, the mayor of our fair city, who is of a certain religious pursuasion, put up a fuss that could have wakened the dead. Resolutions opposing this horrible event were passed by the city council, people were harassed who would have sold or leased land to the DABC for the store, a website was created showing that this store was WITHIN A MILE OF A MIDDLE SCHOOL. OH MY HECK. The mayor referred to "the wrong element" who come to this beautiful corner of Zion when this type of horrible place is introduced. I sent him an e-mail and told him we were already here. I don't think he likes me very much. I love ya, Bill.

Nothing had happened in almost two years and I was getting depressed. Then, two things happened. Home Depot donated a lot for the land (I LOVE YOU HOME DEPOT). Then a few weeks ago on the way home from work, I noticed the beautiful sight below (sorry the pic is bad). All SLS's built recently have the same architecture, and this is it.

My problem is with this whole thing is the pervasive belief in this state by certain people that the "wrong element" must be controlled so they won't corrupt the "one true element". People, live and let live. And in a few months at the most I will be able to buy a bottle of wine two minutes from my house. Just like when I was in Idaho. AND THE WORLD WILL NOT COLLAPSE AND THE DEVIL WILL NOT SHOW UP ON THE MAYOR'S DOORSTEP.

Rant over. Cheers!




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